I Was Blind, but Now I See: The Story of Evelyn

 I Was Blind, But Now I See, The Story of Evelyn  

It was a meeting like any other meeting; until I saw her. I was greeting
people when I noticed someone who was seemingly “out of place,” her name was Evelyn.

She was a noticeably unkempt black woman in a predominately white
wealthy neighborhood church. As I walked over to introduce myself to her, I realized that she was blind. As I told her my name and she told me hers, I was grateful for her blindness. The smell was beyond anything I had ever been forced to endure. My eyes squinted as I gasped for air. I was grateful that she was unable to see me lose my composure. I found Evelyn a seat and thanked her for coming.

The worship service had begun and as I made my way to the seat that had
been reserved for me, I heard the Lord Jesus speak to my heart…….. He said, “I would like to give Evelyn a hug, can I do that through you?” “Well, of course you can Lord” You see, I’m a hugger. From way back. I come from a long line of huggers. Hugging is good. I could hug Evelyn.

As I turned to walk in what I thought to be perfect obedience, I began to ponder Evelyn. Poor Evelyn. Blind, with no-one to care for her. It seemed like she was wearing every piece of clothing that she possessed, including stray pieces of fabric that had not yet been made into clothing. All manner of stains and odor adorned this clothing. Stains derived from things inside and outside the body. Putrid. Rancid. Her teeth were visibly green, with things growing on them, looked like mold. Her face looked as if, it had large doses of lard applied to it, probably hadn’t been washed for months. Poor, sweet Evelyn with no one to care for her. I felt privileged that the Lord would entrust me with such an important job. Little did I know how very true the scripture is, “my righteousness is as filthy rags….”

Looking back on it, I guess I came to embrace the obedience because I
figured out a way to be in control of the act of obedience. I wouldn’t hug her too long or too tightly. Just enough to let her know she was loved. Just enough to obey. I could stretch myself and do that. I hadn’t learned that “partial obedience is just glorified disobedience.” But, I would. Evelyn would help me.

I came in behind Evelyn, put my hands on each of her shoulders and gave her a squeeze while gingerly pressing my check on the back of her head and said, “Oh Evelyn, it’s Sandi again and Jesus wants you to know that He loves you so very much!” Evelyn placed her hand upon one of mine and patted me. She graciously spoke, “Thank you dear, I appreciate that.” Deed done.

As I’m walking down the long aisle of “sanctified deeds” to my seat, I hear the Lord again, “What are you doing” “I’m going to sit down.” “No, you’re not, I didn’t tell you to hug Evelyn, I told you that I WANTED TO HUG HER. You did the best you could do, now go back and do the best that I can do through you!” What else could I do? I went to see Evelyn. Again.

There she was. In her pew. Not a living soul within 10 feet of her. A seat wasn’t hard to find. I sat next to Evelyn. When I began to consider the bugs upon her, I determined to sit on the bugs and I drew closer to her. Soon, my leg was pressed next to hers. I said, “Evelyn, Jesus REALLY loves you!” I put both my arms around her, one in front and one in back and held on to her from the side where I was sitting. I went beyond a hug, beyond a squeeze, I smashed her into me, as if both our lives depended upon it and then I put my lips upon her cheek. I gave her a kiss, a kiss that changed me. The smell was horrifying. I left my lips upon her cheek until I couldn’t smell the ugliness or feel the grease anymore. At that point, when I lost myself in what Christ was doing, when I couldn’t smell her anymore; I felt a tear, Evelyn’s tear, streaming down over my lips. Instead of thanking me, she moved into what was real. She responded to the purpose of the hug. Evelyn began to worship Jesus.

She lifted her hands as the river of her pain ran from her eyes and said, “Oh thank you Jesus, thank you for loving me so much and thank you for that kiss, you know Lord, it has been nigh unto 15 years, I suppose, since I’ve had a kiss. Thank you Jesus!” She wasn’t talking to me, it was Jesus. I was no longer involved. No longer a participant. I was ashamed to think that I mattered. I did not. She went right past me; straight to Jesus and glorified Him. Let us live God so loud that we deafen the ears of the enemy and all those who would oppose God!

Although it appeared that I lived God loud that day, I did not. But Evelyn did. She knew who to give the glory and adoration to. She naturally knew. I had to be convinced.

I thought perhaps Evelyn would receive her sight that day, it happens when you serve a miraculous God. But, instead, I received my sight and she received the greater gift of enjoying sweet worship with her Lord.


Copyright © 2001-2002 Abba’s Heart Ministries       All Right Reserved

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