In 2004 when I began writing “The Prayer of Moses,” once again trial and trauma found my address. It was as
if the enemy was shouting at me, “You can’t do that, I’ll make you pay if you try!” Well, I can and I will because
Jesus already paid.
There is this thing I call “Gossip from Hell.” Gossip is defined by Mr. Webster as: “a rumor or report of an
intimate nature.” Basically it is either a lie or something that is none of your business. When God made me,
it was an intimate act. He surrounded me with His love and deposited His heart and spirit into mine. The devil
has no business touching anything that has to do with my body; he can’t pull that idea off alone, unless I let him.
If God allows it, then I’ll allow it, but only then.
So, this past month when the specialist declared that I had a brain tumor, it just didn’t set right with me. It felt
like I was hearing gossip from the Doctor; a lie! I got mad at him and demanded another CAT Scan in two days.
In those two days I asked God what my reality was. If my reality was this brain tumor, I would take it, but I had
to know if this was a trick of the devil or an opportunity of the Lord. So, I went to prayer and asked the Lord for
the truth. I told him, “If this is the dress you bought me for the party, I will wear it. I don’t really like it and it
doesn’t seem to fit, but if you bought it, I’ll wear it. It’s about 3 sizes too small and orange, I just don’t do orange
very well; but, if you want me to wear it, I shall. We will go to the party and I will dance with you all night if you
want me to. But I have to know that you picked this out for me, then I will submit. If you didn’t go shopping,
then in your name, I will peel this pain and disease off of me…….. I just have to know, I must know……. I can’t
make a move until I do.”
Moving when you don’t know where you are going is dangerous. It can bring wounded faith because you
prayed for something out of God’s will or out of step with His heart and He will not answer that prayer. He is
only obligated to answer the prayers that come from Him within us, any other answer can lead to destruction
as it did for King Hezekiah. Be Still and know that I am God, means to be still and hear what He is saying and
what He’s trying to accomplish in a situation.
I waited 35 years to be healed of Cystic Fibrosis and I’m aware that sometimes people get sick and die, other
times they get a miracle and rise up, and yet still there are those times when we get a process and must walk
through it learning to trust the Lord along the way as He “builds us.” In all these things I have learned that I
must never run to my “rights” but run to the Lord. No matter what you are going through, your need just may
be your answer! It may be the very thing that draws you closer to Him. Jude said to CONTEND FOR THE
FAITH! But, we must know what that faith is dictating before we can contend!
If we can’t agree with God, then we agree with the devil, hold his hand and shout at heaven, “you are wrong
God and not big enough.” Our behavior often speaks those words, even though our mouth never moves.
In the midst of my search for truth, the Lord revealed to me, for it was the only revelation that brought peace,
that this was a trick of satan himself. I have had other truths told to me by the Lord that I didn’t want to hear,
but they were covered in His peace, which is an indicator of God’s revelation and truth. If you are unsettled
and unsure, go the way of Peace, for surely God resides there. Even if it is something that you don’t want to
hear or an outfit that you really don’t want to wear, if He, the Holy One, is calling us to come, how can we not
go that way? It’s a level of trust that we must walk in if we expect to ever get out of Midian and conquer Egypt.
Once I had this knowledge that the enemy had waged war upon me, the Dr. called and I suppose the enemy
thought this would cause me to slide down into a depression covered with despair, but it had the opposite effect.
The Dr. didn’t know, nobody did, because I kept it to myself; but I had many symptoms of the Cystic Fibrosis,
after being healed for more than a decade, return. The Lord didn’t tell me to share my need, He told me to take
it to Him and sit with Him, so I did. These symptoms had been agonizing me for a month or so, and the Lord
gave me the strength to just keep rising up every day and keep my traveling schedule. The Dr. told me, “This
brain tumor is a result of the Cystic Fibrosis and the Chronic Sinusitis is a sign that it has returned. He then
began to count down all the other symptoms that I could expect (which had already arrived, unknown to him)
and that was it. I got mad. I hung up the phone and the devil’s worst nightmare came upon him. The Lord said
to me, “What do you believe?” I believe the report of the Lord! Sometimes the “report of the Lord” agrees with
the Dr.’s report, this wasn’t one of those times. I’ve had a big chunk of my lung surgically removed, I know what
it’s like when the Lord agrees with the Doctor. But, like I said, this wasn’t one of those times! So, I shall
“contend for the faith” because “I know whom I have believed!” I began to tell the enemy to go and command
the symptoms to go as well. The enemy shouted at me that the pain would increase if I continued, and it did;
but I decided that pain never really killed anybody!
Jesus prevailed and within 2 hours I was totally well. I went into take another CAT Scan before I caught a flight
to preach and when I got back, there was a message on my phone that said, “The CAT Scan is totally normal!”
There ya go!
I had not been able to sleep laying down for 3 years because when I did the pain behind my eye and in my
head was unbearable. It felt like I had a knife stuck in my eye. It had been two weeks since the Lord removed
the tumor and took all my symptoms and pain away; those two weeks at the end of 2004 without pain and being
able to sleep laying down were wonderful. Then the some symptoms came back and the battle was on. The
enemy whispered in my ear, “If you lay down, the pain will be horrible and your brain could explode.” Well, I
decided then and there that I was not playing his game anymore, so I shouted, “Pain never killed anyone and
if my brains explode that’s fine, because I’ll be in heaven AND I won’t have to clean up the mess! Keep away
from me in the name of Jesus!” My symptoms and pain immediately left and have not returned!
Contending for the faith is almost like training a dog. You know how when you tell them to “sit and stay,”
they always try to get up? It’s like that! You just have to keep one eye on them to make sure they are
behaving themselves. The devil will learn, yes he will. He is not stealing what the Lord is doing in me. He
cannot get me to agree with him for I have chosen to agree with God, no matter what that cost and no matter
what that looks like. You too can take your trouble and pain and ask Him what the truth is and then contend
for that faith in trust.
Ephesians 6:10-18 “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.” When this
scripture is telling me to “be strong” it is saying: “You have been made able and are empowered.” “Power”
means Dominion and “Dominion” means Authority. “Might” means: Forceful Ability.
There is a power that has no authority. The power the enemy has holds no authority. God’s power and the
power He gives to us, holds all authority for it has dominion over all things. Adam had Dominion (or authority)
over everything, he gave it away. The Bible says that things would fear Noah (as he got off the ark), dominion
is not mentioned….. we are to take the dominion back from satan in the name of Jesus; that is moving in our
authority in Christ. But, we must know what that dominion is and not tell God His business, but submit to His.
If you are at a basketball game, perhaps the player is full of power and ability. Let us say that he is 7 feet tall
and he is a star player, making all the points. The referee is only 5 feet tall and kind of scrawny, not able to
hurt anybody if he had to! Yet, when the player fouls in all of his massive structure, the little referee will come
over looking like an insect compared to him and command him to go sit down and the player will oblige. If he
doesn’t oblige, his penalty is worse and eventually will be thrown out of the game; all because this little referee
with no physical power compared to his said so! Why? Because the player had power, but the referee had
authority over that power! We are that referee as we take back the dominion of the devil in the name of Jesus
at the prompting of the Holy Spirit.
Ephesians 6:16 “Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of
What is a shield of faith? “Shield is the size of a door and faith means to be constant in your conviction! Not
small or wavering!
If I’m supposed to avoid fiery darts, I want to know what they are! “A Fiery Dart” is “A missile, spear or arrow
ignited with anger, grief and lust.” No Wonder That Hurt!! The devil has a powerful weapon and he is fueling it
with his anger toward you, but only has the authority to do so, when God says or when we say! God will do
what God will do and we may have to wear that orange suit from time to time for His glory so he can bring
triumph through tragedy by the way we glorify Him through our pain, BUT IF WE let the enemy maintain his
dominion and take authority over our lives when the Lord has told us to fight, we will lose more than we
If we can believe the report of the Lord, then we can fight for His causes, whether they be in us or someone
else! When we believe the report of the Lord, we are agreeing with God and that brings abundance into our
life and favor in many forms!
Part of believing is holding on! Holding on for what the Lord says, not what we say or demand. What He says!
Hold on and may all your days be full of the pleasure of trusting Him……… as it is spoken, In sickness and
health, for richer or poorer….. May you always know the One who is married to your soul and enjoy the
magnitude of His great love for you. Grace to move in Jesus and Peace to enjoy each moment!